I’ve been working on a couple new banes, boons, and feats for my homebrew settings, but these two a generic enough to fit into any setting, I’d say:
Crush
Duration: Resist ends (Fail x 3 = 1 minute)
Power Level: 4 / 6 / 8
Attack Attributes: Might
Attack:
Might vs. Toughness
Description
From a distance, one might think that you are sharing an enthusiastic hug with your enemy, but up close one sees that you are a skilled wrestler who takes their foe through the mangle, causing excruciating pain.
Effect
Power Level 4: Target gains the Immobile bane if they weren’t already immobilised. The target also gains 1 disadvantage to resisting the Immobile bane and deal 1 Lethal Damage to them, as long as they don’t resist the Crush bane.
Power Level 6: Target gains the Immobile bane if they weren’t already immobilised. The target also gains 1 disadvantage to resisting the Immobile bane and deal 2 Lethal Damage to them, as long as they don’t resist the Crush bane.
Power Level 8: Target gains the Immobile bane if they weren’t already immobilised. The target also gains 1 disadvantage to resisting the Immobile bane and deal 3 Lethal Damage to them, as long as they don’t resist the Crush bane.
Special
The Crush bane synergises with the Immobile bane, making it easier to inflict the Crush bane if the target was already immobilised. If the target was already immobilised previously, take no penalties to the Crush bane attack. If the target wasn’t Immobile previously, take 2 disadvantage on the Crush Bane attack and also apply the Immobile Bane if the attack is successful.
Pin Down
Duration: Instantaneous
Power Level: 4
Attack Attributes: Agility, Might
Attack:
Agility vs. Guard
Might vs. Guard
Description
Once your opponent has hit the ground, you waste no time and take the opportunity to jump on them, pinning them down, making their escape even more difficult.
Effect
Power Level 4: Apply the Knockdown bane, if the target wasn’t already knocked down. The Knockdown bane gains the duration of Resist ends (Fail x 3 = 1 minute) and the target gains 1 disadvantage to resist the bane, as long as you stay on top of them.
Special
The Pin Down bane synergises with the Knockdown bane, making it easier to inflict the Pin Down bane if the target was already on the ground. If the target was already knocked down previously, take no penalties to the Pin Down bane attack. If the target wasn’t knocked down previously, take 2 disadvantage on the Pin Down Bane attack and also apply the Knockdown Bane if the attack is successful.
Feel free to critique and to use them and don’t forget to share your experiences with them!
Not quite sure what you meant by this phrase, so not quite sure how to suggest to fix it.
Might make a thing in the special that only 1 foe may be targeted at a time with this, can’t target any others until you cease it, or they break free of it.
it’s mainly the sentence structure “the mangle” doesn’t make any sense.
To mangle someone << that makes sense as a sentence by itself. As an american english speaker the sentence just doesn’t make sense.
Mangle to most english speakers (I’m guessing the same for British, but maybe not) is along the lines of:
severely mutilate, disfigure, or damage by cutting, tearing, or crushing.
So if you are wanting more of what you just typed from this:
but up close one sees that you are a skilled wrestler who takes their foe through the mangle, causing excruciating pain.
I would suggest, hmmm…
but in close quarters, you are a skilled wrestler that can cause excruciating pain to your foes.
I just… I don’t know what else to say for “through the mangle” honestly. I think it makes more sense to just leave it as it is, as the excruciating pain part is redundant with what you are trying to say the mangle thing is?
Edit:
Maybe add something about binding up your enemy, or manipulate your foes body against themselves?
Rephrased version: From a distance, one might think that you are sharing an enthusiastic hug with your enemy, but up close one sees that you are a skilled wrestler who exerts enough force to cause sprains and muscle tears.
What I’m seeing here is that you made more powerful alternatives to banes and use disadvantage to decrease the attribute requirements to a reasonable level. But what about exceptional success? With bane focus you can apply this with a 5+ damage attack just as easily as other banes of the same power level. Is this a problem or am I misjudging the sittuation?
I wouldn’t necessarily call them alternatives but instead progressions. The idea was to explore what a 2-step bane would look like and this is what I came up with. I don’t really understand what you mean with to decrease the attribute requirements to a reasonable level part, so maybe you can elaborate on that.
Your observation about exceptional success is indeed quite astute. Others have pointed out that problem as well as a few other problems, which is why the text has already changed a bit, but to deal with the part you mentioned I added the following:
This bane may only be applied via exceptional success if the target is already immobilised.
This is for Crush. For Pin Down, it says already knocked down.